What a (shitty) life.

You know, everything seems all fun and games before you actually involved in it, and feels the true situation that is happening in real life there. kinda having the same situation here. So my housemate from Indonesia was all good and supportive as a friend and housemate to live abroad for approximately 5 months. We prepare all of the requirements together. At first, he seems so convincing to be my housemates for half a year. After we tried to do all the requirement, he started to reveal his inner stinks layer by layer. I even feels like I made a wrong decision to go with him, and him only. But oh well, paddy is already a porridge, can not be turned back into rice. So i was just saying fuck this shit, i'm in the point of no return because its only weeks away from our flight to Japan.

He is a kind of friend that you wanted to meet during the school time only. You don't want to meet him outside, or worse, his house and staying over. Never. As an introvert myself, I actually understand what it feels like to be one. But the problem here is that, I am his housemate for another 3 months (hope not). I mean, can he be more friendly, and give a single fuck about our well-being, and our inter-personal relationship? Yes, it is true i am his friend, but i am not someone to be his daily emotional trash bin. Nigga i have my patient line. 

Things actually got better once we got here on September. We were settling ourselves in nowhere, try to support one another, giving help, and all those shits you need when you were settling new life. It gets downhill after 2 or 3 weeks. The agreement of no in house smoking is broken many times. his room is a mess, messier than Miley Cyrus's past. Damn. Also, he gave no shits no more about our inter-human relationship. Basically, hes a jerk. I was tolerating him few times, but that's it. He smoked again few days ago, and i'm deciding to move out. I couldn't bare him anymore. It is still good that i didn't tell his girlfriend about it. I still have humanity in me, but if, if he goes through one more layer of my principle, then he dead. I'll bust all of his faults and broken promise to his girlfriend lol. I don't mind losing one of a jerky friend that irritates me.

Sebuah Lagu

I've just find out a song that really represents my very current feeling. The lyric, the beat, its all perfect for my situation. (well, its not that perfect but the feeling is quite the same).

you got me.

So here is the full lyric from a song called Lost in Japan by Shawn Mendes remixed by Zedd.

[Intro]
All it'd take is one flight
We'd be in the same time zone
Looking through your timeline
Seeing all the rainbows, I

[Verse 1]
All it'd take is one flight
We'd be in the same time zone
Looking through your timeline
Seeing all the rainbows, I
I got an idea
And I know that it sounds crazy
I just wanna see ya
All I gotta ask

[Chorus]
Do you got plans tonight?
I'm a couple hundred miles from Japan, and I
I was thinking I could fly to your hotel tonight
'Cause I-I can't get you off my mind
Can't get you off my mind
Can't get you off my mind
Oh, oh

[Post-Chorus]
I can't seem to get you off my mind
Let's get lost tonight
Let's get lost tonight
Baby, you and
I can't seem to get you off my mind

[Verse 2]
I could feel the tension
We could cut it with a knife
I know it's more than just a friendship
I can hear you think I'm right, yeah
Do I gotta convince you?
That you shouldn't fall asleep?
It'll only be a couple hours
And I'm about to leave

[Chorus]
Do you got plans tonight?
I'm a couple hundred miles from Japan, and I
I was thinking I could fly to your hotel tonight
'Cause I-I can't get you off my mind
Can't get you off my mind
Can't get you off my mind
Oh, oh

[Post-Chorus]
I can't seem to get you off my mind
Let's get lost tonight
Let's get lost tonight
Baby, you and
I can't seem to get you off my mind

[Chorus]
Do you got plans tonight?
I'm a couple hundred miles from Japan, and I
I was thinking I could fly to your hotel tonight
'Cause I-I-I can't get you off my mind
I can't get you off my mind
Do you got plans tonight, baby?
I was hoping I could get lost in your paradise
The only thing I'm thinking 'bout is you and I
And I-I can't get you off my mind
Can't get you off my mind
I can't seem to get you off my mind, yeah

[Outro]
Let's get lost tonight
Let's get lost tonight
Baby, you and
I can't seem to get you off my mind
Let's get lost tonight
Let's get lost tonight (oh)
Baby, you and
I can't seem to get you off my mind

for someone with initial SIN, if you read this, this is for you.

(not an) American Teen

I wrote this blog just before midnight, with some lo-fi hiphop songs playing to keep me company. Today, i just want to spill all of my thoughts up. Don't expect me to write all those cringy stuffs since i barely feel like it again these day. Teehee

I want to declare that I, am definitely not, an American Teen. Its not like because i wasn't born there, but if you really don't get it, I really don't do their stuffs, their TGIF, their cold bottle, and their condoms. Yup, I am clean. Only smokes twice or thrice in my whole life and only 2 sips each. Never smoke a whole cigarette. Never drink alcohol, even one that has very low percentage. Been to a party once, never again. All those stuffs doesn't suits me well. Its just, I don't know, maybe i was born this way?

Don't get me wrong, I am totally fine having friends that did all those shit above. I don't really care, long as they didn't bother me with anything, then of course i wouldn't mind.

Since i'm new here in Japan, some of my Indonesian friends doesn't really know who i am, and yesterday, one of them actually asked me to go to a nightclub to celebrate Halloween. Well, the halloween celebration would be fun, the party itself would be fun i believe, but when i tried to search for the event online, damn. That shit is whole new bowl, its not my cup. You get me.

Y'all might be wondering by now, what stuffs is considered my cup?

Let me tell you one thing first, I, am an introvert that really enjoy deep intimate relationship. With my very own self, and others that are close to me. Ask me for a cathartic session, and i will definitely up. Always. Coffee? Cake? Pizza? just random night stroll? museum? traditional ceremony? anything. am and always up for those kind of stuffs. Talk to me about everything you want to say. Your ex, your parents, your past, future plan, favorite cat, dramas, movies, games, religion, culture, economy, NBA, La Liga, College life, cars, bikes, mountains, meme, lame jokes, even soothing stars. I have no boundaries of what to say in one cathartic seat or walk. I personally believes that Coffee, reveals one true self better than alcohol. You might not have the same opinion as i do for this. But hey, we got our own freedom of speech right? Alcohol, will definitely fuck your mind up. You will reveal everything that passed through your mind to everyone in sight, randomly. In the other hand, You get to choose what stuffs that you wanted to share to your coffee mate. You got choice. But then, when you really could be that intimate to those mates, unconsciously, you will reveal everything about yourself. It might be not as instant as getting drunk, but that is the whole point. Deep down, you will know that you wanted people to know you layer by layer, book by book, day by day, and in the end, you will feel that your mate is also part of you.