Song title.

you know, when you're already in your 20s there must be hundreds or maybe thousands of songs that you've listened to. mulai dari pertama kali dengerin lagu dari radio, mtv, sampe mulai pindah ke mp3 player, hp, dan segala perangkat yang bisa dipake buat dengerin lagu. buat aku, lagu itu bukan sekedar lirik bernada. sebuah lagu itu kompleks. dalam. magis. di dalem kebanyakan lagu, setidaknya yang sekarang masuk di daftar putarku, selalu berisikan pesan dan perasaan. selalu ada rasa yang tersirat dari tinggi rendahnya nada, tarikan nafas, dan jiwa yang menyeruak dari suara.

tapi bukan itu yang mau aku tekankan. ada 1 perihal lagi yang sejujurnya sangat membantuku buat tetap bisa menikmati rasa di tanah perantauan ini. lagu bisa menyimpan. ya, banyak lagu yang bisa menyimpan kenangan-kenanganmu baik maupun buruk, suka atau tidak. beberapa lagu pasti akan bisa membawa kita lompat ke satu momen tertentu, menggambarkan suasananya tanpa satupun helai daun tertinggal. ya, lagu memang kuat. sekuat itu hingga kita ga punya kontrol lagi atas dia. kadang, waktu mood-mu lagi bagus, denger 1 lagu spesifik yang mengingatkanmu sama, contoh, mantan pacarmu. atau lagi sedih, dan tiba-tiba ada lagu yang menerbangkanmu ke memori indah sama temen, bisa menjungkir balikkan perasaanmu secepat bait pertama yang kamu dengar. 1 hal lagi, yang lebih magis, sebuah lagu, bisa mencampur adukkan perasaan mu. tanpa sebuah memoripun yang terpanggil didalam kepalamu, tanpa kamu paham liriknya, tanpa harus kamu dengar berulang-ulang. ya, lagu memang semagis itu.

Dreamy Nights

I don’t know what started this, but for few weeks back I always dream in my sleep. And most of them is ridiculously random. Here’s some of my dreams that I still remember right now (not in order)

1. I was home, in Jogja. I don’t know why but I was in the same room with my neighbor (also a friend that is actually not in touch again) named Liana. Yes, a she. We talked about stuffs that I already forgot, it feels like a real conversation I had with her, and then I woke up. Actually I’ve been avoiding her since she uploaded pictures on her IG of her being a sportswear model. The shitty thing is, I unfollowed her 3 times, 2 of them was noticed and she confronted me because of it so I had to follow her again. Lel.

2. I.SAW.MY.EX.CRUSH I don’t have any idea why she showed up there, I don’t even think about her again (well I also didn’t think about my neighbor but well oh well that’s why its called a dream). The scene is, I was teaching at the cram school I usually taught (she was my student), and she was there as a cram school grads, if such thing’s exist. At first, she was there just to help the flow of study, but then it gets weird. SHE STARTED TO MADE FUN OF ME. She blew everything I’ve done to her to the class so everyone knows the story behind. Fml

3. My housemate ordered a flight back to Indonesia on 7th of February using either lion or air asia.

4. I don’t know how, but I manage to fuck Selena Gomez. Dang this is fucked up

5. The rest is just a small pieces I hardly remember

I wish this dream-streak keeps going because maybe, those dreams are few of the things that keeps me sane here. Kind of sad, but a relief.