Its been weeks since i wrote my last blog here. I've been busy with uni stuffs, student circle that i joined, also the most time consuming one, finding myself again.
i've been lost.
its like, i didnt recognize my own self anymore. im not me. theres this words, i dont who who made it but its quite creepy and yet, its kinda true. at least for me atm. and the saying is "there is no image of the exact you. you are different in everybody else's mind. each people you met since the first time you were born will have unique image of you. so the you that you are thinking of, is just inside your head."
fuck that words right? but what fucked up the most is that i, am currently feelin it. even i dont really know me. shit.
i lost myself here. i dont know if im started to get mad, i hope not. i tried to smoke (the japs e-cig [not vape]), i tried scotch whisky by touching it using my tongue (i didnt drink it) like what the fuck it didnt even taste good.
i've put my attention on unimportant shits and it made me crazy. the girl i thought would help me just walked away saying nothing. ive been thinking worse about my house mate which actually not that bad. THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME SANE IS BROOKLYN NINE-NINE WTF.
also, dont give a damn about my social media. what i posted there is the only fun part of being here which is only 5% of my real life. DANGGG fuck social media
DAMN MAN IT FEELS LIKE I JUST WANNA SCREAM AND BROKE THINGS DOWN. i aint had no one hear that could listens to me. i dont have friend here. well, not a normal friend, but the "friend" friend. i had no one to talk to, no one to share my frickin feeling to. not even my house mate. since he got girlfriend, dang. i dont know him no more. but thats fine i get it its his first relationship.
cant believe im saying this, but fuck this shit i could use fwb real good right now. BUT THEN I DONT HAVE ONE SHIT. kinda regret i pushed away that girl when i first came here, that girl whom i pushed away bcs i still had a crush on someone.
I FRICKIN NEED SOMEONE RIGHTNOW OMGGGG
AIGHT. i think im crazy.
